Week Three: The Results Are In...

So, over two months ago I invited my readers to a virtual tour of my messy house.
I expressed my frustration over the state of things, and committed to three specific goals that would (hopefully) allow me to change my situation in the following week.
Several people asked me about it throughout the following week, but of course when the time came to post about my success (or lack thereof), I suddenly had more important things to do.
I realize now that I am two months late, but for those of you who were still curious, I figured the least I could do was post some before and after photos for you, so here we are:

My Kitchen, Before:

My Kitchen, After:

The School-room, Before:

The School-room, After:

The School Closet, Before:

The School Closet, After: 

 

Now, as far as my three commitments go, what worked and what didn't?

Well, the first one was to get up at 6 am every morning.
This one was without a doubt the hardest. I used to be an early bird, but somehow either having kids or getting older (or a combination of both) has made this commitment almost impossible for me to keep. I was exhausted. I made myself do it, but I'm not sure how helpful it was, because I was so tired I couldn't work very efficiently.
Also, I've noticed that no matter how early I wake up, and no matter how quiet and careful I am, my kids always wake up very soon after I do (and the only thing more irritating than walking around like an aimless zombie at 6:15 is walking around like an aimless zombie at 6:15 being followed by whiny zombie children). So, if the reason I'm waking up early is to get time to myself, it's pointless. I still believe that waking up early is important (and now that daylight savings time is over, it is easier, and I'll probably take advantage of that), but I'm not sure I'll continue to wake up at 6 am every morning, at least not unless I can also start making myself go to bed earlier at night....

The second one was to never go to bed until my sink was clean and empty of dishes.
This one was probably the easiest commitment to keep, and by far the most rewarding. It was a little annoying to have to give up a chunk of every evening (when I'd rather be snuggling with the hubby and watching TV), but it actually took much less time than I thought it would, and pretty soon my whole kitchen was clean. I wish I could say that I stuck to that first commitment after that week was over... but I didn't. I will definitely need to get back to that, though. I like it when my kitchen looks like this:

 

The final one was to set aside half an hour every day to clean the school room.

This one was moderately difficult, mostly because of my procrastination tendencies. I would keep saying "I can take that half an hour later..." and then it was night and I didn't want to have to do that ON TOP of washing dishes and cleaning the sink. Also, it was discouraging, because half an hour hardly left a dent in the mess and disorganization of the school room at all, at least at first. I know that most cleaning and organizing experts encourage you not to take on too much at once, so that you don't get burned out, but in my house I also feel like if I spend too little time cleaning per day, then it makes no difference (because my kids and I can make messes much faster than I can clean them). In the end, though, the half hours stolen here and there DID make a difference (as the photos above testify). I probably had to spend a little more than half an hour on a few days, though.

Bonus lessons learned...

A few things about this experiment really surprised me.

First of all, I thought just focusing on those three commitments would be more than enough and I probably wouldn't get much else done. Surprisingly, my success in those areas encouraged me to take on other tasks. I caught up on laundry and even cleaned several other rooms in the house. I started cooking real meals again instead of buying frozen meals from the store (actually having clean dishes helped).
Secondly, I thought if I was busy focusing on keeping these commitments and cleaning, I would be ignoring my children. I was surprised to find that, by including them in the cleaning (they helped empty the dishwasher and put away toys and laundry), I actually spent even more time with them than I usually do, and somehow even found extra time to read and play with them. I guess being more intentional with part of my schedule led me to being more intentional with all of it.
Finally, I learned making this commitment for just a week was a little silly. I mean, I did that because I knew I had some complicated stuff coming up (my husband and I were about to travel out of town, and then the kids and I were going to start school), and I didn't want to try to add extra commitments to that. Also, I fully expected to blog about my experience within a week, at which point I would renew those commitments.
Of course, that didn't happen, and when the week ended, I just sort of felt free of the commitments I had made. I quickly reverted to my old habits and my house quickly became messy again (at least the school closet is still pretty organized, though). Obviously, one short week was not long enough to change my life-long bad habits. I knew that. But I really didn't want to commit to more without seeing how things went. That was kind of a good idea, but I think I still should have expected a little more from myself.
So, as things now stand, I am going to recommit to at least the commitment of having the clean sink. That one worked very well.
I will also recommit to the half-hour of cleaning, but with some changes: I am going to set a specific time for my half-hour of cleaning so I can't put it off, and I'm going to vary where the cleaning will take place (it doesn't always need to be in the school room now that I've made such good progress there).
As far as the waking in the morning commitment goes, we'll see. I think I will still try to get up early, but be a little more flexible about it.

I think that these commitments, in addition to the list commitment I made in my last post, will be helpful as I venture into the generally insane holiday season.
Besides the holiday season, though, there is another very big reason that I need to get my life (and my house) in order, and that will be the topic of my next blog post. So, the plan is to post again next Monday (see how I didn't give myself as much wiggle room there). See you then!

Week Two (Or, Month Four?): My Procrastination Problem

Hi, remember me?
The one who posted those shocking photos of her messy house and made the commitment to clean it?
The one who said she would use this blog as her accountability and promised to post back within a week to let you know how it went?
Remember that?
Well, if not, I don't blame you. It was, after all, over two months ago.
You see, I have a problem. A big one. And it looks like this:

 

Well, ok, my house has not been invaded by Daleks. That would be a really good excuse.

***(If you don't know what Daleks are, I'm not sure we can be friends. But the good news is, you are officially less nerdy than I am. Which isn't saying much. If you need an explanation on Daleks and why they would be saying "Procrastinate!" feel free to ask in the comments... or just watch Dr. Who.)***

No, my house has not been invaded by Daleks, but this is an accurate picture of how my mind works. No matter what the question or the issue, this is my brain's automatic response: "Procrastinate!"
If there's any way to put something off, I will. My mind is very sneaky about this... I come up with completely legitimate-sounding excuses to do things later than I should.

For example, in the case of the update on my housecleaning activities, I said to myself, "Well, I said, 'Come back next week!' That can be any time generally within the next week... or so..."
And then the next weekend was Labor Day weekend, and I thought, "No one wants to read my blog on Labor Day weekend... I'll give it a few more days..."
And then I was planning and packing for a big trip my husband and I had the next weekend (a really big important trip that I will talk about in another entry).
And then I was starting school with my kids.
And then suddenly it had been a month, and I thought, "It's been a whole month! Now it's too late! Everyone probably thinks I failed and I'm embarrassed... I just shouldn't post anymore."

***(I didn't fail, by the way. I'll post another entry soon about my cleaning initiative and how well it went, and what worked, and what didn't.)***

I know I have a procrastination problem. It's a problem I've had forever, and I'm not sure how I still fall for these ridiculous excuses those procrastination Daleks come up with in my brain. I guess it's because, deep down, I don't feel like it's really that important. Who cares if I'm a little late? Why does being on time matter? Better late than never, right?

Well, late is probably better than never, but it's definitely NOT better than now. Not if it's something important. As for, "Who cares if I'm a little late?" Well, a lot of people, it turns out. Probably not you, faithful blog readers, but that's because my blog is probably not of utmost importance to you. (Shocking, I know.) But my college professor still cared when I turned in my term paper a day late because I had put off working on it until the night before it was due. (I still got an A in that class because I did tons of extra credit, though, so it's probably not the best example-- but I was pretty humiliated and sure I was going to fail at the time.)
The great state of Michigan cared when I put off renewing my driver's license. I did not realize procrastination could end up slapping me with a criminal record. (Don't worry, I managed to work my way out of the criminal record thing with community service hours, but still had to pay a hefty fine, and the community service hours took up a big chunk of my summer.)

So, yes, procrastination matters. It has hurt my grades and my wallet.

But, most importantly, procrastination has hurt my relationships. I can't count how many times I've thought, "I should call her. Oh, but I need to do this right now. I'll call her tomorrow." And tomorrow I say "Next week..." and so on. I am not a very good friend, because I keep putting off those calls. I tell my friends I think about them, and it's true, but when it comes to friendship, it's really not "the thought that counts." It's the action that counts. I'm pretty sure I've lost some friends because of this, and if you're one of those lost friends reading this right now, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I do think of you, and I'm going to try to call more often, too.
I also hurt my relationships when I procrastinate on things that are important to me. I doubt it truly matters to anyone else whether or not I keep up on this blog, but it matters to me. I love to write, and at the moment, this is the one writing outlet I have. For years I have procrastinated on things that are important to me, from putting on my make-up, to reading a grown-up book, to playing the guitar, because I'm trying to be selfless. And that's not all bad. I am a wife and mom, and a lot of times, that requires me to put others before myself. But there are times when I choose not to spend time on myself even when I have time to do so, and then I start to wonder why I'm so stressed out and feel neglected and empty. Pretty soon I start to take those feelings out on the people around me, and by hurting myself, I've hurt them, too. That's part of why I committed to cleaning the house the way I did in that previous blog entry. The only person the messy house was really bothering was me, but I had realized that was enough. And I might be the only person bothered when I don't keep up on this blog, but that is enough, too.
So, I've clearly established I have a problem. The question now is, how do I change it? I've certainly tried in the past, and only one thing has ever worked:

LISTS.

I am that crazy list lady. If I have a list, the things on the list get done, and they get done in order. Lists help me get my priorities straight and kill those stupid procrastination Daleks in my brain. The problem is that the Daleks are well aware of this, so they get me to procrastinate on making lists. I'll say, "I'm going to make a list, but first I just need to...." and then the whole day is gone, and I didn't make a list and of course nothing that would have been on the list got done at all!
Sneaky procrastination Daleks!
So, I hereby commit to making lists. Every evening, I'm going to make a list for the next day, and the next day, I'm going to get the things on that list done. It's not really about what's on the list (although I'll try to include some things for me and for others like "Call Grandma" and "Do your hair."), it's about trying to make sure that I know what my priorities are and that I do those things now instead of later.
One of the things on those lists will definitely be writing on this blog. I'm going to make sure this whole "See you in a week... I mean two months!" thing doesn't happen again.
I'll be out of town next weekend, so I won't say "See you in a week." I will, however, post about my cleaning goals and how that worked out this Monday. (That's going on my Monday list.)
See you then.

Week One: My Confession

I have a confession.
I am a home-maker, writing a home-making blog. But, I am probably the worst housekeeper you've ever seen.
Seriously.
Don't believe me?
Here is a panoramic photo I took of my kitchen (and the adjoining breakfast nook, which I use as a home-school room) this morning:

The really sad thing? This is what it looks like on a GOOD DAY. I mean, I actually washed some of the dishes and put away a few things before taking this picture.
Now, I confess, I did not want to post this photo. Even many of the people who know me in real life probably have no idea how messy I normally am. This is mortifying for me. This is me, baring my soul. But, I have my reasons.

I want to be better. I don't want my kitchen (or the rest of my house, for that matter) to look like this anymore. I've tried just about everything to fix this. I have been married for eight years (and somehow, my husband never complains... he is awesome), and I have four children. This is my only job. You'd think I would have figured it out by now. I've read all the books, tried all the schedules and plans and tricks, and while they were helpful, ultimately, there was something missing.
I think, maybe, it was accountability. After all, how can you have accountability when no one even knows about your problem? When I have guests over, I go into crazy cleaning lady mode and make sure all the rooms they are likely to see are as clean as possible. So, do they know about my problem?

Maybe. Maybe I'm not as good at hiding it as I think I am. But, even if they do, the fact that I'm HIDING it means that they know I don't want to talk about it. So, being the kind friends they are, they don't talk about it. And I can't ask for help.
So, this is me, asking for help. This is me, standing up at a recovery meeting and saying, "Hello. I'm Becca, and I'm a terrible housekeeper."

But, I want to change. I would love to have a clean, comfortable, peaceful house. I would love to be able to find things because they have been put away in a place they belong (and aren't buried under a bunch of clutter we shouldn't even own). I would love to be able to walk on the floor without wearing shoes, without being afraid of getting something gross on my feet (how did that get there?!). I would love to be able to use a dish without having to wash it first.
I'm hoping that, if I commit to changing on this blog, and try to keep track of my progress on this blog, that I will be able to make a permanent change. This is a way of holding myself accountable.
It is also a way (I hope) of encouraging other terrible housekeepers. I know you're out there somewhere, and maybe we can make this journey together. If nothing else, maybe I can make you feel better about your housekeeping. You can say, "At least I'm not as bad as Becca, the Mrs. of Maple Hill!"

I promise this blog won't only be about how horrible I am at cleaning. I will also post home-schooling pointers, my observations on marriage and relationships, maybe even a book review or two. While I am a bad housekeeper, there are some things I'm actually kind of good at, and maybe I'll blog about those things sometimes, too.

Right now, though, I want to make some specific goals, and I am using this blog to hold me to them:
1. I hereby commit to getting up at 6 am every day this week. (Don't laugh at me, working moms who have to get up that early all the time... I know I'm spoiled!) I am much better at getting things done when I wake up early. No more rolling over and going back to sleep, no more saying "Oh, but the baby woke me up during the night... I'll get up early tomorrow!" No! I need to get up and tackle the day, because if I stay in bed, the day tackles me first (usually in the form of small, hungry children).
2. I hereby commit to not go to bed until my kitchen sink is clear and shiny every day this week. (This idea comes from the FlyLady.) My most obvious problem area (though I have many, of course) is the kitchen. This seems to be a good way to start improving that.
3. I hereby commit to cleaning/organizing in the school room for half an hour every day for the next week.
This is essential because I'll be starting our home-school year the second week of September with a second-grader (my 7-year-old daughter), a kindergartner (my 5-year-old son), and a preschooler (my 3-year-old daughter). I also have a 1-year-old daughter who needs a clean, safe floor to play on while the others do their school work. The above photo really doesn't capture the condition of the schoolroom, so here's another one:

(As a bonus, you can see the dining room through that door on the right, and it is ALSO a mess. What a surprise!) If that's not enough to convince you this room needs a major over-haul before we can start school, here's a better picture of the school supply closet (you can see it in the center of the above panorama, but here's a close-up):
 

Once again, I just have to say, I am so embarrassed to be posting these photos.
I have a church potluck tomorrow. I am bringing a dish to share, and I am worried people are going to say, "Nope! I saw your kitchen. I'm not touching that."
(I promise, I clean and sanitize the areas and dishes I use for cooking right before I cook... I just can't seem to keep them that way very long.)
Still, this is something I feel I need to do, so I am doing it, even though it hurts. I hope it's worth it.
Come back next week to see if I was able to keep my three commitments! (I will post photos as proof!)
Thanks for reading!