Week Two (Or, Month Four?): My Procrastination Problem

Hi, remember me?
The one who posted those shocking photos of her messy house and made the commitment to clean it?
The one who said she would use this blog as her accountability and promised to post back within a week to let you know how it went?
Remember that?
Well, if not, I don't blame you. It was, after all, over two months ago.
You see, I have a problem. A big one. And it looks like this:

 

Well, ok, my house has not been invaded by Daleks. That would be a really good excuse.

***(If you don't know what Daleks are, I'm not sure we can be friends. But the good news is, you are officially less nerdy than I am. Which isn't saying much. If you need an explanation on Daleks and why they would be saying "Procrastinate!" feel free to ask in the comments... or just watch Dr. Who.)***

No, my house has not been invaded by Daleks, but this is an accurate picture of how my mind works. No matter what the question or the issue, this is my brain's automatic response: "Procrastinate!"
If there's any way to put something off, I will. My mind is very sneaky about this... I come up with completely legitimate-sounding excuses to do things later than I should.

For example, in the case of the update on my housecleaning activities, I said to myself, "Well, I said, 'Come back next week!' That can be any time generally within the next week... or so..."
And then the next weekend was Labor Day weekend, and I thought, "No one wants to read my blog on Labor Day weekend... I'll give it a few more days..."
And then I was planning and packing for a big trip my husband and I had the next weekend (a really big important trip that I will talk about in another entry).
And then I was starting school with my kids.
And then suddenly it had been a month, and I thought, "It's been a whole month! Now it's too late! Everyone probably thinks I failed and I'm embarrassed... I just shouldn't post anymore."

***(I didn't fail, by the way. I'll post another entry soon about my cleaning initiative and how well it went, and what worked, and what didn't.)***

I know I have a procrastination problem. It's a problem I've had forever, and I'm not sure how I still fall for these ridiculous excuses those procrastination Daleks come up with in my brain. I guess it's because, deep down, I don't feel like it's really that important. Who cares if I'm a little late? Why does being on time matter? Better late than never, right?

Well, late is probably better than never, but it's definitely NOT better than now. Not if it's something important. As for, "Who cares if I'm a little late?" Well, a lot of people, it turns out. Probably not you, faithful blog readers, but that's because my blog is probably not of utmost importance to you. (Shocking, I know.) But my college professor still cared when I turned in my term paper a day late because I had put off working on it until the night before it was due. (I still got an A in that class because I did tons of extra credit, though, so it's probably not the best example-- but I was pretty humiliated and sure I was going to fail at the time.)
The great state of Michigan cared when I put off renewing my driver's license. I did not realize procrastination could end up slapping me with a criminal record. (Don't worry, I managed to work my way out of the criminal record thing with community service hours, but still had to pay a hefty fine, and the community service hours took up a big chunk of my summer.)

So, yes, procrastination matters. It has hurt my grades and my wallet.

But, most importantly, procrastination has hurt my relationships. I can't count how many times I've thought, "I should call her. Oh, but I need to do this right now. I'll call her tomorrow." And tomorrow I say "Next week..." and so on. I am not a very good friend, because I keep putting off those calls. I tell my friends I think about them, and it's true, but when it comes to friendship, it's really not "the thought that counts." It's the action that counts. I'm pretty sure I've lost some friends because of this, and if you're one of those lost friends reading this right now, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I do think of you, and I'm going to try to call more often, too.
I also hurt my relationships when I procrastinate on things that are important to me. I doubt it truly matters to anyone else whether or not I keep up on this blog, but it matters to me. I love to write, and at the moment, this is the one writing outlet I have. For years I have procrastinated on things that are important to me, from putting on my make-up, to reading a grown-up book, to playing the guitar, because I'm trying to be selfless. And that's not all bad. I am a wife and mom, and a lot of times, that requires me to put others before myself. But there are times when I choose not to spend time on myself even when I have time to do so, and then I start to wonder why I'm so stressed out and feel neglected and empty. Pretty soon I start to take those feelings out on the people around me, and by hurting myself, I've hurt them, too. That's part of why I committed to cleaning the house the way I did in that previous blog entry. The only person the messy house was really bothering was me, but I had realized that was enough. And I might be the only person bothered when I don't keep up on this blog, but that is enough, too.
So, I've clearly established I have a problem. The question now is, how do I change it? I've certainly tried in the past, and only one thing has ever worked:

LISTS.

I am that crazy list lady. If I have a list, the things on the list get done, and they get done in order. Lists help me get my priorities straight and kill those stupid procrastination Daleks in my brain. The problem is that the Daleks are well aware of this, so they get me to procrastinate on making lists. I'll say, "I'm going to make a list, but first I just need to...." and then the whole day is gone, and I didn't make a list and of course nothing that would have been on the list got done at all!
Sneaky procrastination Daleks!
So, I hereby commit to making lists. Every evening, I'm going to make a list for the next day, and the next day, I'm going to get the things on that list done. It's not really about what's on the list (although I'll try to include some things for me and for others like "Call Grandma" and "Do your hair."), it's about trying to make sure that I know what my priorities are and that I do those things now instead of later.
One of the things on those lists will definitely be writing on this blog. I'm going to make sure this whole "See you in a week... I mean two months!" thing doesn't happen again.
I'll be out of town next weekend, so I won't say "See you in a week." I will, however, post about my cleaning goals and how that worked out this Monday. (That's going on my Monday list.)
See you then.